Thinking Again !!!!!!!!!!!

I know better then to do this. I should never think when I have not had any sleep. it' not always a good thing, yet it is the best time for me to sit and ponder on things that really have no points. But then again maybe they do. ya never know with me..

What I want to know is.. Why do most (noticed the key word there) men think that all woman want is for a man to take care of them and buy them pretty things and put a roof over there heads and food and make sure all the bills are paid? Ya know, a lot of woman might like that. I know I am not one of them. I am my own person. I do as I wish. I do come and go as I wish. I do not feel the need for a man to take care of me. I am pretty good at taking care of myself. Have done it for many years. Oh Sure it would be nice to sit home on my ass and watch TV and eat bom boms all day. But come on. why would any woman want to do that?

I keep asking myself what kind of woman am I?
Do I want a man to take care of me?
Do I want to have to ask permission to walk out the door?
Do I want to have to explain everything I do?
Do I want to explain everything I mean when I say something?
Do I want to have to beg for money to go shopping?
Do I want a man who thinks he owns me?
HELL NO to all of the above... I am sure there is many more, LOL, just can't think of them all right now.

I have learned over the years that I am my own woman, I don't need all of them things, I don't need material things.. All I need is a man who will be there no matter what. A man who will not ask me what I did all day and then start a fight cause he didn't like my responces, or he didn't like a certain friend I went to see that day.. ya know I am a big girl and can pick my own friends and take care of myself.

But what I really want to know, and this comes from a lot of things I have read and heard and other stuff all week.... Why would anyone want to be with someone who does not want to be with them? I know that if a person does not want to be with me. then why would I want to stick around? why would I want to make their life hell? would it serve a purpose? not in my book. the only thing it can do is cause more pain..I don't want to cause more pain for anyone. therefore I would do my best to part as friends. Hey lets do coffee sometime, lets say hi when we pass each other in the streets, But lets not keep causeing pain for the other person. lets not try to distroy that other persons life... Let them move on so that the pain can stop. so that maybe they can find someone else who can love them the way they need and want to be loved...

The way I look at thing is like this... when two people are done and over, why try to hurt them more, isn't the pain of knowing it is over hurt enough? why try to distroy there life afterwards? and I say this for no matter who you are... I don't care if it is someone who has cheated on a partner or someone who just wants to end a partnership.. why would you want to keep hurting that person? The one thing I can say about all the Exes in my life and trust me there are many, LOL.. after it was done, I never wanted to continue to hurt them and I never had one want to continue to hurt me or distroy each others lives.. I just don't see the point in it... We all deserve to be happy, yet sometimes we end up with an asshole rather it be male or female who wants to totaly distroy the other person.. they want life to be hell? I have seen people go out of there way to do this to each other. Why? is there really a point to it? or does it just make the other feel like a bigger and better person?
In my book, it makes the other less of a person for doing this to begin with.. when it is over they should just walk away and stop all the hurt and pain. Sure it always hurts at first. But you move on and you find someone better then the last. at least you hope you do. if not you keep looking.. we all have a soul mate out there. sometimes it just takes longer to find them for some, and others find them right away..

But I know that no matter what a person would choose to do to me. I would not fight back and try to distroy their lives. I would let it go.. I would tell them, feel free to do what you feel you need to do to distroy me and get it over with. So that I can pick up the pieces and go on with my life. No I will not fight back to distroy them, there is no need. I am a bigger and better person for that. at least I would like to think so and I would hope my friends and family would think so as well...

OK can ya'll tell that I should not sit up and think? LOL.. I been told thinking is not one of my better qualitys.. one day I might listen LOL.. naw I doubt it.... Tell me what would you all do?
A) Walk away and live your life?
B) try to distroy the others life?

OK I am done for now, maybe.. LOL. don't hit me to bad with the comments I have only had about 6 hours worth of sleep in 5 days... so be kind, LOL