Thursday, February 24, 2005

Are You Having a Bad Day??

THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY....?
( check out these actual cases: )
Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out sectionof forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba
tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask.A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, butfrom massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positiveidentification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire. It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off the coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site of the forest fire. You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air.

Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.


___________________________________________


Still thinking you're having a bad day?


A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearbyin the kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as it burst through the glass patio doors. His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut and bleeding, the motorcycle and the shattered patio door.She called for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairlylarge hill, she went down the several flights of stairs to meet theparamedics and escort them to her husband. While the attendants
were loading her husband, the wife managed to right the motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up the spilled gasoline with some paper towels and tossed them into the toilet.

After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked atthe shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle.He went into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarettewhile attending to his business. About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs. The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again phoned for an ambulance.The same paramedic crew was dispatched. As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance they asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They started laughing so hard, one slipped, dropping the stretcher and dumping the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.

______________________________________________

Still having a bad day?
Just remember, it could be worse...The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oilspill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the mostexpensively saved animals were being released back into the wildamid cheers and applause from onlookers.. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.
_____________________________________________
Still think you are having a bad day?

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shakingfrantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wirerunning from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt
him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment,
he had been happily listening to his Walkman.


______________________________________________

STILL think you're having a bad day?

Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sendingpigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two hopeless protesters were trampled to death.
____________________________________________

What?! STILL having a bad day??

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letterbomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting
it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.


There now . . . . . . . . feeling better?